I married a dreamer

I distinctly remember a particular conversation I once had on a date with a young man that I met at college. I had asked him what he wanted to do for a living. He responded that he wanted to be an entrepreneur. I thought to myself, "That's cool!" I then asked him what ideas he wanted to pursue. He said that he didn't have any but that entrepreneurs make a lot of money and he would come up with some in the future. My thought? "Fail!" I was so turned off. I'm not sure why but I had always wanted to marry someone who was passionate about his work. It wasn't important what he did, but I never wanted it to be about the money. 

Now I understand that not everyone can pursue their dream career or we wouldn't have a lot of needed services. I'm sure there are many jobs that no one "dreams" of doing. However, I feel that often people feel pressured to work jobs that will provide a particular lifestyle or support their hobbies rather than pursue a job or career that they are passionate about. 

When I met Isaac he was getting his degree in Communication. He had no real plans to pursue a career in that field. Earlier he had hoped to pursue Architecture but due to some changes in the program while he was on his mission he switched paths. Although, I'm sure Isaac was initially disappointed that he wouldn't pursue Architecture I think it was for the best. Isaac is an excellent artist and I'm sure he would have enjoyed Architecture but his real passion is for horses. 

When people ask Isaac about what he wants to do, the response is almost always the same, "That is like my dream job!" People at Isaac's work are constantly asking him why he chooses to work with animals when he has a college degree. Isaac might be crazy, and I might be even crazier for supporting him.

Isaac hasn't landed his dream job and we can't be sure that he will, but I'm so proud that my husband is going to do all that he can to pursue his dream. Isaac could make more money in a different job. He might get better benefits and more vacation time. But, he wouldn't be teaching his children what he is now. I once heard a quote that we can't expect our children to be what we aren't. This has really stuck with me. If I want my children to be driven by passion, then I must be driven by passion. If I want my children to pursue their dreams, Isaac and I must pursue our dreams. If I want my children to share, they need to see that I share. If I want my children to value time with the family, I need to value time with the family. 

I could read thousands of parenting books but I'm going to let this principle guide me: Become the person you want your child to be. It's that simple. It isn't about issuing the right punishment or whether you use attachment parenting. If you don't model good behavior, how can you expect that from your child? But it isn't even about modeling behavior. It must be deeper than that. You can't just not lie, you must be honest. You can't just perform acts of kindness, you must be kind. You can't just act good, you must be good. 

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to strive to be better, to really be something. I know I won't be perfect and that my faults and bad habits will get in the way at times. And that's a good thing because I don't want to be perfect. I want my children to feel the freedom to make mistakes and know that they have a Savior who will carry them the rest of the way. 

Someday, I hope that my children will be able to look at me and say, "She never stopped trying to be more. And yet, she allowed herself to be human. And because of that humanity, she knows the touch of her Savior's hand."

Multi-tasker Anonymous

Hi, my name is Rebecca and I'm a multi-tasker. Whew, it feels so good to get that off my chest! I've been caught multitasking not just at home, but also at work. That's how bad it has gotten. Have I breastfed my child while typing a case note at my work office? Guilty! I thought I was being so clever! My husband caught me the other day while multitasking. Isaac had put on the movie Hugo. I thought he wouldn't notice me slipping into the kitchen to clean a few dishes, but then I heard it, "[silence]." He had paused the movie. And then the dreaded, "What do you think you are doing?!" "(nervously) Uh, I'm doing the dishes..." "Get over here and watch this movie with me!" And the dishes just sat there on the counter, dirty, longing to jump into a pool of soapy water. A basket of laundry just three feet away, my hands aching to fold those burp cloths. But Isaac was on guard, which meant only one thing: I had to sit down and watch the movie. Did I enjoy the movie? Of course, but once I had the chance, I was back at it. Those dishes were splishing and splashing.

On a more serious note, this is something I've been thinking about lately. Sometimes our lives become so busy that we are trying to do so many things at one time. I wonder if I am actually enjoying the activity because it's never just one activity; it's always two. So, is TV relaxing if I'm always working while watching TV? Can house work be therapeutic if I am being distracted by the TV? Am I really listening to the person on the phone if I am folding laundry at the same time? Am I more productive for multitasking, or am I just more exhausted? Sometimes I turn off the TV while nursing to focus on my baby, and sometimes I'll lay down on the floor next to my baby while he is playing. It surprises me how quickly I become antsy. Shouldn't I be doing something on my to-do list? What if I just lay here for the next hour, how behind would I get? Would the house become a mess? Would my husband think I was lazy?

I think all mothers (and women) multitask. The job of running a household is about 24 hours of work packed into the 16 hours you actually have. Life is really about how you allocate your time. I guess I'm questioning how I've been allocating mine.

*I give credit to my dear friend Annette for the inspiration behind this post.

The Shave

 Many of you know that I came home one day from work and found that my husband had shaved my baby's hair off. He shaved it again before Christmas to make sure that all the hair would grow in evenly. Last time he just buzzed his head. This time he used his Gillette Proglide razor.

I wanted Isaac to make Wyatt look like he had a Santa beard...Isaac didn't quite get the concept of me wanting a fluffy beard but Wyatt still looked cute. Below I'm going to include captions of what I think Wyatt is thinking:

 "Oh no, not this again..."

 "Are they going to shave my beard? I don't even have facial hair!"

 "I'm going to need a drink to get through this..."

 "You're taking a picture? Great..."

 "This is really gonna happen?"

 "Oh, it is happening!"

 "Just breathe, don't think about it."

 "Not my sideburns!"

The gift of poverty

Those that know me well, know that I grew up in an affluent community. I was very fortunate to be born into a family where my father was a doctor. And although my parents divorced, the divorce settlement gave my mother a monthly income that was much higher than many families could provide on two incomes. I never realized how privileged I was until I entered graduate school and was asked to write a paper about privilege. My mother tried her best to keep us grounded by giving us chores such as vacuuming, cleaning toilets, and mowing the lawn. However, I still went to some of the best public schools and I was always dressed in beautiful clothes. I studied abroad, served a mission for my church, and received an undergraduate degree and I was never in the red. 

I got a job with Enterprise Rent-a-cad. I remember becoming financially independent. It was scary. My parents had given me so much and now that I had a real job, I knew I couldn't ask for help. I was going to have to figure it out. And I did. I was paying my own car insurance now. I had my own apartment. I was learning to budget. Yet, I was able to go Costa Rica with my friends and shop at Banana Republic whenever my little heart desired. Then I decided to go back to school. I was going to take out student loans. 

Flash forward to graduation. Graduate school had come to an end. No more student loans to provide income. I was married and five months pregnant. Neither Isaac or I had what you could call full-time employment. I was trying to set up a private practice so I could work part-time before and after the birth of the baby. Isaac was able to work more hours with the job he had worked while in school. While Isaac had been dreaming of working on a ranch, the drought had dried up those jobs. We were poor. Well, we still are actually. We were living pay check to pay check. Sometimes we still don't know how we are going to pay this bill or that bill. BUT, somehow we do. It has been difficult to control my stress. Often I would grow concerned and rack my brain trying to think of ways we could come up with money before the next bill due date came. I would drive myself crazy. Isaac always seemed so calm, so confident that it would work out. I thought, "He is crazy!" Yet, every time it did work out. I've learned a couple lessons from being poor that I will list and discuss below:

1. I love to give

2. To receive is hard

3. To receive is divine

4. Karma is real

5. Tithing is a blessing

6. Money is not happiness

1. I love to give

One of the most difficult things about being poor is realizing that you don't always have the money to buy others gifts that you would like to give. This has been extremely hard for me. I also love to cook for others. It has been difficult to look at the bank account and think, "I want to have these friends over to eat, but I'm not sure we can feed others until we get our next paycheck.We will have to wait." 

2. To receive is hard

It is so much more comfortable to be in the position of giving than receiving. It is hard to admit that you need help or that you depend on others. Although I was given a lot by my parents, that is very different from when you are a grown adult and feel that you should be capable of meeting all your own needs.

3. To receive is divine

There have been so many times when Isaac and I have unexpectedly received gifts and money from others when we really needed it. Receiving money when you really need it, when you have been praying for a solution, is a unique experience. It has brought tears to my eyes, warmth to my heart, and caused me to fall on my knees recognizing that God often cares for us through our friends and family.

4. Karma is real

What goes around comes around. When you have little, it is often hard to give because you aren't sure that you will have enough. However, we have never gone without and I think that is because we have continued to give as much as we can. No meal shared with others has every left us with empty stomachs. Anytime we give to others, we receive.

5. Tithing is a blessing

As part of our faith, Isaac and I give 10% of our income back to God. This is not easy, but we have made a commitment to do so and we recognize that all we have is from God. Sometimes it seems that not paying tithing would allow us to pay a bill, but we pay our tithing and find that somehow we still have the money to pay that bill even though it seemed that we wouldn't be able to. Even if we were not monetarily rewarded, we recognize that we should always give thanks to God for what he has given us.

6. Money is not happiness

Now, I think we all know that money can buy a good time. I'm not disputing that. Even though Isaac and I never went on a honeymoon, even though I haven't been able to buy new clothes, even though Isaac hasn't been able to buy a saddle, we are happy. It is the simple things that make me happy. I love cooking a meal and having a husband that is at home to eat it with me. I love having friends over and enjoying interesting conversation. I love taking road trips and talking with Isaac for six hours when our car radio is broken (okay, so I sleep some of those six hours). I love that Isaac and I created this life, our little Wyatt, who is discovering this world and all the wonder in it. These things bring happiness. I often think, "what if tomorrow was my last day?" I wouldn't stress about money today. I would enjoy today. So I try to hold Isaac a little closer, play with my baby a bit longer, give that baby a kiss and brush his face every single time before I lay him down in his crib, get up at 5:30 am to fix Isaac breakfast,  make sure that I kiss him when he gets home, because God forbid anything happen, I never want to think that I wasted away these years worrying instead of living. 

I was accustomed to wealth and how blessed I am because I grew up in wealth. But, I am just as blessed by poverty and that is why poverty is a gift. It has taught me a lot about myself, love, and what matters most. I know that we won't always be poor but I hope that I never forget the lessons I'm currently learning. 

Amarillo Birthday

For my birthday this year we decided to drive up north to Amarillo. My mom recommended a burger place there that she and my step-dad tried when driving through Amarillo to visit us in Texas. I believe the place was spotlighted on the show Man vs. Food. It was delicious.

Before:

After:

The place is called Coyote Bluff Cafe

 We also went to visit Cadillac Ranch. It is a famous landmark with eight Cadillacs sticking out of the ground. They have been spray painted and people come visit and sign their names on the cars.

We were pleasantly surprised to find a special message on one of the cars.

Can you see the "Happy Birthday Rebecca"? 

It was meant to be.

It was quite windy that day, but Wyatt took it like a champ. Although it takes a little longer, it is so fun to have this little guy accompanying us on our adventures.

Two months

Wyatt has been with us for over two months now. He is such a joy! At about one month he started to smile a lot. I can't get enough of his little smiles! He likes to coo and have conversations with whoever is willing to talk (sounds like his mother!). He doesn't like tummy time very much but every now and then he will be okay with it. Wyatt is probably happiest when he is lying on his back so he can move his arms and kick his legs as much as he wants. He also likes to be sitting upright because he wants to see what all the adults see. Wyatt does not like to be left out. Wyatt is starting to sleep better but he will still wake in the night sometimes to eat. Wyatt loves to eat and he makes a lot of noise while eating. Wyatt is now 23 inches in length and he weighed 13 lbs. 7 oz. at the last doctor's visit. He is already about double his birth weight! He barely fits into 3 months clothes and is starting to wear 6 months. Isaac and I are both average size so we are shocked that our baby is growing so quickly! We feel so blessed to have such a healthy baby and to have the opportunity to be parents. We recognize that this opportunity shouldn't be taken for granted. I'm so grateful for a husband that is so dedicated to family, and it makes me so happy to see how Isaac loves to spend time with Wyatt. Here are a few more recent pictures of Wyatt.

Here is Wyatt with his cousin Leila at Halloween time.


Here are some cute photos of Wyatt smiling.




We blessed Wyatt this past Sunday and took some pictures outside the temple afterward. Wyatt made some great faces for the camera!

Here are some pictures of Wyatt with family and friends

 

Maternity and Newborn Pictures

I've fallen behind on blogging more pictures but better late than never, right? Here are some of the pictures that our photographer Becca Caniglia took.

    

      

              

 

           

 

Our Little Wyatt

The Birth

Wyatt joined our family on Sunday, September 16, 2012. That day is also special because it is Mexico's Independence Day. We had scheduled an induction for Tuesday, September 18th, but the doctor told us if we went to triage on Sunday they would probably induce me because I was already 10 days past my due date. I had started to feel really anxious about Wyatt coming so late because I knew that after 41 weeks, other complications can arise. I felt a lot of weight in making the decision of whether to induce or wait to see if he would come on his own. I had been showing signs of labor for the past two weeks (mild contractions and some dilation and effacement) but things didn't seem to be progressing. Isaac and I decided that we should make this decision a matter of prayer. We felt good about going in on Sunday, so we got up early and headed over to the hospital.

Here we are at the hospital. Not our best picture but we got up at 5:00 am so what can you expect?

Although I ate prior to going to the hospital, after they had completed all the paperwork and got me in a delivery room I was starving! Luckily, the nurse believed in feeding me before we started the Pitocin so she ordered me a breakfast burrito. Nothing ever tasted so good! 

They finally started the Pitocin at 10:00 am. At 11:00 am my water broke on its own. A little while later the doctor came in and checked me. Turns out my water broke up high (what they call a high leak), so he broke the sac where the water was below the baby's head. 

About an hour after that, contractions began to be painful. At first I would breathe through them easily. But as time went on, they became more intense and closer together. 

At the top in the blue shaded area, you can see baby's heart beat. As long as he is in the blue he is good. The bottom graph shows the contractions. At this point they were two minutes apart lasting about 1 minute.

At one point the contractions were about one or two minutes apart but there was no break. As soon as the contraction subsided, the next one began. I thought I was going to die! The pain was so intense. I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen that would build and shoot down my legs. Labor is a very unique pain because it builds and then subsides. It requires a lot of concentration. I've never experienced anything like it before. When I started to have a contraction, I didn't want to be touched or talked to. As the contractions got worse, I thought to myself, "I can't do this for hours!" I had really wanted to go natural but I knew that since I had decided to induce that most likely I would end up getting an epidural. Word on the street is that contractions caused by Pitocin (a synthetic hormone of Oxytocin) are more painful. So I had my doula get the doctor to check me to see how far I had progressed. This way I could judge if I should stick it out or get the epidural. Well the doctor checked me and I was only dilated to 4 cm. You need to be 10 cm in order to deliver. So obviously, I decided to get the epidural. The epidural wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I did have a problem with my epidural. It didn't quite take on my left side. So they had me lay on my left side but it still wasn't really helping, so then I was still needing to breathe through contractions as I felt my left side contract and pain shoot down my left leg. The nurse came in and shot up something into the epidural and then at some point I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so chatty! About an hour later, I told my doula that I felt pressure down there and once I felt it all the time she called in the doctor. They checked me and the baby was at what they call a "plus 3." The scale goes minus 3 to plus 3 so he was ready to come out! I pushed for about 30 minutes and our little Wyatt made his arrival at 6:18pm. Once Wyatt came out they set him right on my chest. He wasn't nearly as gooey as I thought he'd be. His skin looked a little purple at first. Isaac cut the umbilical cord which was white. I was surprised that it was white but once the air hit it, it started to turn to a blueish purple tint. After they wiped up Wyatt and put a little hat on him I was able to look at him in wonder. I was crying and so was Isaac. It was so crazy to think that this little life came out of me. I then breastfed Wyatt. It is so amazing how he knew just what to do and that my body was able to fill his need to eat. Once he finished eating the nurse took him and gave him a sponge bath and weighed and measured him. Wyatt was 7 lbs. 14 oz. and 20 inches long. 

     

 Both of us with Wyatt right after he was born.

     
Here is Wyatt sucking on his thumb after the nurse gave him a bath. He hasn't really been able to suck his thumb since then. He usually just attempts to stick both hands in his mouth at the same time.

I know I look awesome in this picture but I included it because I thought it was so interesting that the hospital would give me food like chicken fingers and french fries or a hamburger. Shouldn't hospitals give you healthy food?

  

Here is Wyatt, already practicing his riding technique.What a cutie!

  

Isaac's parents hopped in the car when we called to tell them I was being induced. They made it to the hospital at about midnight. I was exhausted and sleeping but they enjoyed spending time with their first grandchild.

This is our little Wyatt's first car ride leaving the hospital.

Pictures

My mom and I tried to take some cute photos of Wyatt. Below I have put little captions for each pic

          

"Don't mess with Texas!"                  "Yawn..."                                         "Model pose" 

Pictures with Daddy

 

Family portrait

Hanging out with Grandma Jean

We had just given him a sponge bath and his hair was sticking up all over the place. His hair is so long he needs a little trim around his ears already!

  

Wyatt just chillin'

Sleeping

More fun pics:

 Wyatt with flowers from Joanna.       A little smile I managed to catch.    He looks like a little boxer here.

 Oh this little guy is just so cute!


A Little More About Wyatt

Wyatt is such a good baby. We are so blessed that he is so healthy. We are learning the ropes of being new parents which means we now know what it's like to be pooped on, peed on, and spit up upon. Wyatt is very strong. He could already lift up his head by the time he arrived home. In fact, once my mom (Grandma Jean) was holding him and it looked as though Wyatt lifted his head up to kiss her. He actually sucked her cheek. Wyatt goes a little crazy when he is hungry. I call him "my little crazy man." We've noticed that Wyatt has long toes just like his father. He also seems to have big hands for his size. It seems to me that Wyatt has inherited his body type from Isaac, but Wyatt's facial features seem more similar to my baby pictures. Wyatt has gray eyes so we are curious to see what color his eyes will be as he gets older. It is so fun to see Wyatt grow. I have noticed that he has become more alert and that he has begun to study my face. It is so exciting to see my baby memorizing my face. I absolutely love being a mother though there have already been difficult times that have led me to tears. The other day I was holding Wyatt and he was only in his diaper. I had placed my hand on his chest and I could feel his little heart beat. I started to cry as I became so overwhelmed at the thought that Isaac and I created this little life. We are so blessed that we were able to have a child and we are so excited to be starting a family.