Complex Candy and the New Office

So, I just recently transferred offices. I now work at the airport location for Enterprise. It's been fun to go back to the airport cause I know quite a few people there but I also get to meet new people. Today, I felt just like in the new girl in grade school. The new girl was always instantly popular and everyone wanted to be friends with her. Well, today all these men kept talking to me. I thought to myself, if I was ugly, they'd probably just say welcome and go about their business. Now, I may sound vain for saying that but the way you look really does change the way others relate to you. If a man is taller or wearing a suit, you automatically treat him with more respect. You are more likely to have a longer conversation with someone you find attractive than one you don't. Now, I'm not going to use my looks to manipulate others but today they did persuade one man into giving me some gifts.

My favorite guy today was the man who stocks the vending machine. He kept asking me about myself and he gave me all this free food: hostess cupcakes, skittles, twizzlers, and gum. Now this was a little creepy cause he is probably 50 or 60 years old. Now, these gifts might win over another girl but these gifts were not my favorite. \

I hate Hostess. Hostess is a mockery of the art of baking. Those are not cupcakes, impostors! I can't believe people actually put those in their mouth and think, "this tastes good." Now, I am so utterly amazed by the human body but I can't believe that such a magnificent creation accepts hostess products and does not utterly reject them through violent vomiting. Consequently, I gave the cupcakes to a friend. I guess that was mean. I should have given them to someone I don't like.

The candy. Now, of course they couldn't be regular skittles or twizzlers. For some reason candy manufacturers think, "Our product is awesome. Let's do something crazy to it!" Okay, the chewy is not better, the sour is not better, the dark chocolate is not better, the white chocolate is not better. The original way is the best, that's why you did it that way in the first place.

The twizzlers were wack. It was like sour ooze in the middle of a crappy piece of licorice.

On the other hand, the skittles had some merit. It was fizzle sour tropical skittles. So it was your typical tropical skittle covered with sour pop rock stuff. You remember the wonder of pop rocks? It was like a party in my mouth! But the whole experience was confusing. At first it's exciting, this little piece of candy makes your tongue fizzle, but then you taste the sour, and you're thinking, "what the heck just happened?" Then, finally you taste the skittle and you're shocked by the familiar taste. Now, at this point you think, "uh, that was weird. I don't think I like these." But the next thing you know, you have another skittle in your mouth. You've been so confused by the first try, you've got to make sure you don't like them. So, you keep eating them. You share a few with your friends to see their reactions. You think, "Should I like these, should I not like these? Will my friends like these? Will they say I'm crazy? I don't know how I feel about these skittles! I need validation! Can anyone support me liking this ambiguous form of sugar that reacts with the saliva on my tongue?"

So, yes, I hate this new candy thing. And that old man has no chance with me now. Women like flowers and chocolates for a reason. They are simple. That's why we like men, they are simple. I am complex...do I really need to add to that with candy? I already have a difficult time making decisions, don't confuse me anymore!