Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Well, I've decided that is time that I care for a growing, living thing and don't worry I'm not pregnant. I bought plants! I don't like pets but they shed and smell bad and have to be potty trained so they are not an option for me. But plants are pretty, and these smell good and taste yummy! I bought some herbs. And I didn't realize there would be a variety of each herb. The basil was easy to tell, cause I could pick out the right kind by smell but the sage was a different story. It didn't smell...so I had try it. Yep, I snatched off one of those leaves and licked it a couple times. And ding, ding we had a winner! So, I hope they live so I can cook delicious meals.
So... we had a renter whose credit card declined when she returned the car. My coworker called her to get payment. The lady yelled at my coworker and told her that she hated her several times. Then she called back and told me to tell my coworker sorry and that she would be nice to me because she had taken some tranquilizers. (What the heck?) She asked for her balance and I asked if she had her contract and she was like, "No, no. I'm trying to forget you. You all are horrible." Then I told her the balance and she starts freaking out that she can't pay it by Friday and then tells me that she is going to blow out her brains and asks if that will satisfy me. I was dumbfounded. What kind of sick person does she think I am? Who would someone's suicide satisfy? I thought to myself, "who would kill themselves over having $600 go to collections." This confusion cause me to not respond and then she asks, "Are you there? Did you hang up?" I responded, "No, I'm still here. I just don't know how to respond to that." Then she tells me that I can just send "the evil collections" after her and that I can send my mafia or better yet I can send the real mafia. Then at the end she says how she is going to transfer funds and then take more tranquilizers! CRAZY!
So, that's the update on my life.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Golf is not a sport.
Now, what is a sport? Webster's dictionary defines a sport as "an active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition." Now obviously, there is an element of competition to golf, but physical exertion? Get real. I'm not saying golf doesn't require talent but when your heart rate doesn't rise, it's not a sport.
There is no running. You drive a motor vehicle that can't go over 10 miles per hour. This activity is not even dangerous. The only chance of injury is if you are golfing in Florida and decide to stick your hand in a pond to retrieve your ball and find that an alligator has decided your arm is his afternoon snack.
In addition, how can you call it a sport when most people on the golf course are "retired"? If you are too old to work an office job, don't tell me that you have the energy to engage daily in a sport. Oh wait, you don't. That's why they invented the golf cart because walking would be too rigorous.
I'm not alone in this. Even the Olympic committee does not consider it a sport. And if you can drink a beer while golfing, please tell me how it is a sport. You don't see a track star or a soccer player drinking a beer on the sidelines. You drink a beer while watching sports...not playing them. And just because Tiger Woods drinks a Gatorade while playing doesn't make it a sport. I can drink a Gatorade on my couch, does that make watching TV a sport? I think not.
C: I need to get a couch
Me: Yes, you do. A couch is a prerequisite to a boyfriend.
(sitting in C's apartment on her roommate's couch. Her roommate is moving out soon)
M: Are these your couches?
C: It's my roommate's couches.
M: Is she divorced? Divorced people have couches.
Me: Uh, I have couches. What are you saying?
C: I don't have room for a couch, so I'm getting a love seat.
Me: A love sac is a prerequisite to a hook up.
M: How about you get a sectional?
Me: A 'sex'tional? Sounds like foreplay to me...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I wrote this song probably about 5 years ago. This song is about my relationship with my dad. What I like about this song is that I'm sure other people can relate to a lot of the feelings I share in the song although it was such a personal struggle at the time I wrote it.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
So, this is a song that I actually started writing on my mission. I don't know why but the chorus came to me while showering one day. I wrote down the lyrics planning to finish the song when I got home and had a guitar in hand. I love this song because most of my songs are about relationships that didn't work out but this one is about (cross my fingers) one that will work out.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
I got into St. Louis pretty late and as I sat on my suitcase waiting for my step dad to pick me up, I felt the most peaceful calmness settle over me as the humid air blew through my hair. It smelled like home. The next morning I woke up and decided to go for a run like so many times before. I stepped outside and I just wanted to cry. It was so beautiful, so green. I felt like I had returned to the Garden of Eden.