Come On!

By popular request, I am creating another blog post. At first I felt uninspired but alas, a conversation with a good friend lit a fire underneath me. Today I will discuss what you can call laziness or stupidity. Now you're wondering where I'm going...You guessed right. Men! Now I'm not much of a male basher because I actually love men but there are some men that just don't seem to get it. What don't they get? How to get girl. I will site some case studies to prove that men make a simple task very hard. Women may be difficult but we have given men a clear road map and for some reason, they don't use. It's called a "chick flick."

Case Study #1

We will call him RR. RR is a good looking man. He's super fun, has a good job. He's approaching 30 though I'm not quite sure of his age. RR does the typical, "I will date 18-year-olds until one magically has the brain of a 28 year old woman." Sorry buddy! Not gonna happen. Her brain is not fully developed and won't be for another 2 or 3 years. She may have the body you've been dying to make love to, but guess what! She doesn't wanna make love to you! She just stopped playing barbies. So, dear RR, you'll find your special one when you start to date girls a little closer to your age and stage in life.

Case Study #2

We'll call him Fat Truck with a little guy. Now this guy is new on the scene and decides to pull out all the stupid lines like, "You have beautiful eyes" or "We should make out." Yeah...right. Hun, you are gonna need some new material because we've heard it! This may work on the other girls but for those who have been around the block a time or two, we know what you want and it is not our eyes. Stop looking at my backside, perv.

Case Study #3

Army guy. Now this guy had taken out a friend to dinner a couple times and then had the audacity to ask, "So, when are you going to put out?" Really? Did you really just say that? Oh, yes you did. I don't know what kind of trauma you've been in serving in the army and I don't care how many push ups you can do, there is no way any girl should give you the time of day. I have name for you. It starts with A and ends with S.S. Hole.

The following aren't case studies but these are some great quotes from boys who are real masters of the English language.

"You're kissable, just not dateble"

"You're smart and sexy, it just didn't work out for you"

"It's awkward hanging out with you."

"I'm sorry I didn't call, I've been really busy. My cat died."

Okay, now that I've proven that some men are scum, I'm going to let men in on a secret. That stuff you see in the movies? Well, it works! Taking us on a date and paying for it? That works. Opening doors? That works. Buying flowers? That works. Chocolate? Heck yes! Romance? Yeah, that works too. Listening when we babble on? That works. Pretending like you like our families or that you fit in with our friends? That works. So there you have it.