I married a dreamer

I distinctly remember a particular conversation I once had on a date with a young man that I met at college. I had asked him what he wanted to do for a living. He responded that he wanted to be an entrepreneur. I thought to myself, "That's cool!" I then asked him what ideas he wanted to pursue. He said that he didn't have any but that entrepreneurs make a lot of money and he would come up with some in the future. My thought? "Fail!" I was so turned off. I'm not sure why but I had always wanted to marry someone who was passionate about his work. It wasn't important what he did, but I never wanted it to be about the money. 

Now I understand that not everyone can pursue their dream career or we wouldn't have a lot of needed services. I'm sure there are many jobs that no one "dreams" of doing. However, I feel that often people feel pressured to work jobs that will provide a particular lifestyle or support their hobbies rather than pursue a job or career that they are passionate about. 

When I met Isaac he was getting his degree in Communication. He had no real plans to pursue a career in that field. Earlier he had hoped to pursue Architecture but due to some changes in the program while he was on his mission he switched paths. Although, I'm sure Isaac was initially disappointed that he wouldn't pursue Architecture I think it was for the best. Isaac is an excellent artist and I'm sure he would have enjoyed Architecture but his real passion is for horses. 

When people ask Isaac about what he wants to do, the response is almost always the same, "That is like my dream job!" People at Isaac's work are constantly asking him why he chooses to work with animals when he has a college degree. Isaac might be crazy, and I might be even crazier for supporting him.

Isaac hasn't landed his dream job and we can't be sure that he will, but I'm so proud that my husband is going to do all that he can to pursue his dream. Isaac could make more money in a different job. He might get better benefits and more vacation time. But, he wouldn't be teaching his children what he is now. I once heard a quote that we can't expect our children to be what we aren't. This has really stuck with me. If I want my children to be driven by passion, then I must be driven by passion. If I want my children to pursue their dreams, Isaac and I must pursue our dreams. If I want my children to share, they need to see that I share. If I want my children to value time with the family, I need to value time with the family. 

I could read thousands of parenting books but I'm going to let this principle guide me: Become the person you want your child to be. It's that simple. It isn't about issuing the right punishment or whether you use attachment parenting. If you don't model good behavior, how can you expect that from your child? But it isn't even about modeling behavior. It must be deeper than that. You can't just not lie, you must be honest. You can't just perform acts of kindness, you must be kind. You can't just act good, you must be good. 

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to strive to be better, to really be something. I know I won't be perfect and that my faults and bad habits will get in the way at times. And that's a good thing because I don't want to be perfect. I want my children to feel the freedom to make mistakes and know that they have a Savior who will carry them the rest of the way. 

Someday, I hope that my children will be able to look at me and say, "She never stopped trying to be more. And yet, she allowed herself to be human. And because of that humanity, she knows the touch of her Savior's hand."